My husband, Daniel, and I were overwhelmed with feelings of excitement, joy, shock, and gratitude when we found out I was pregnant this past May. Those of you who have been following Salty Blondes since the beginning of the year know about mine and my husband's struggle with infertility and miscarriage over the last 3 years. If you're new, you can read our story HERE.
This is my fourth pregnancy, and I'm currently 20 weeks along (halfway! and almost twice as far as I've ever made it). As you may have read on my last post, our plan was to try IVF this fall. After suffering three miscarriages, then finally figuring out what the problem was, we found out doing IVF would be our best change at carrying a healthy baby to term.
I hadn't ever been able to get pregnant on my own, without taking clomid, so we were completely surprised when it happened the one month we decided to take a break and wait to do IVF in the fall. I guess all it took was a relaxing, stress-free vacation to Hawaii! ;)
When I found out I was pregnant, I was of course excited, but worried because of my history. We really tried to keep it between us and our immediate family this time around, because I knew my chances of another miscarriage were high.
My doctors monitored me closely this time around, and at nine weeks I "graduated" from the infertility center I had been going to and started seeing my regular OBGYN. I started to relax a little bit more, and it began to seem real and that this might actually be the one! Our miracle baby.
At 10 weeks I started meeting with a genetic counselor, who advised me to do a cell-free DNA test called MaterniT Genome, where they are able to look at the baby's DNA by taking a sample of my blood.
At 11 weeks I got the news that the test results came back abnormal. The results showed a partial duplication of chromosome 15. This made sense because of my balanced translocation (read about what balanced translocation is here if you're interested - I found out I have it after my last miscarriage). I was told I would probably miscarry again in the coming weeks.
We were devastated and honestly couldn't believe it.
A couple of weeks went by and no miscarriage yet! We decided we would do a CVS test on the baby, which is a more invasive test, to confirm the results and get more information. When we went in for the test, the maternal fetal medicine doctor looked at the baby, and pretty much talked us out of doing it. She said the baby looks great, and that's all we know for sure right now. She said that the cell-free DNA test I did is such a new test and there isn't very much information on it, and no data validating the laboratory that performed the test. She basically told us the test could have been wrong and given us a false positive!
We left that appointment confused and I honestly didn't know what to think. I didn't want to give myself any hope. I felt like I needed to protect my heart.
Since then we've taken things week by week, and have just tried to trust in the Lord and have peace, knowing this is out of our hands. We found out we're having a boy, and so far nothing abnormal has shown on an ultrasound.
We know this baby could be born with abnormalities, and that there's even still a chance I could miscarry, but we also know we'll love him, and no matter what, he's still our little baby sent from heaven.
I've had a difficult time knowing how to tell people we're pregnant, or if I was going to tell people at all! It's been hard not knowing what will happen, but as I've gotten further along I've been able to relax a little bit more and just trust God and have faith. Plus I've got a little bump now that's getting harder and harder to hide :)